I’m having a creative stupor lately. It’s one of those feelings when you know you are onto something but can’t quite put the finger on it.
A lot of things annoy me. A lot of things in the scene annoy me. I understand that people are trying to work and make money and putting 110% of themselves out there. I don’t want to be telling people how to do their thing, it’s their business and I am not pointing fingers at anyone in particular. It’s the general trend I guess that makes me wanna vomit in your mouth. The trend of appeasement to the “consumer”, the lowering more to the “wankers” than bringing them up to the “goddesses”.
I really don’t want to lower my standards and I don’t think any one should for the sake of making a sale.
Somehow I don’t give up on the submissives just yet. I know very well that 2/3 of them are wankers, dirt and shit but that’s totally fine with me because I don’t care. It’s that 2/3 that I will probably never get in contact with, probably won’t know about the existence or bother to. I may be exaggerating. Perhaps it’s more than two third, maybe it’s ninety percent, I still don’t care. In my book that 10 percent that is looking for me, looking up at me is all that matters.
I want the submissives who bother to read, research, think, analyze, comprehend, visualize, fantasize, experience a whole range of feelings, emotions, thoughts so that I can take it away from them. I don’t want an empty box with an attached penis. Those penises are not any of my concern. They will go about their penis business, maybe buy a clip or two, or a 100, but they are still retards that will never elevate themselves to my standards and probably will not understand a word I say or understand what I do and why I do it and the effect it’s taking on them. Do I want more retards serving me? Not really. That brings me to the point that I don’t have to speak their language, or lower my standards, or lower my prices, or appease them by simplifying anything. If a man is not capable of grasping a concept of service or quality then it’s too bad for HIM, not for me, because HE is never gonna be able to fully experience the real joy of servitude than those who DO try to elevate themselves up.
Back to the creative stupor. I am not bitter. I used to make a whole lot of content. I keep saying that I”m going to make more, and I AM going to make more, but…It’s not the same anymore. What can I say, I got spoiled by slaves. I don’t need to make content to make a living, and so I don’t. It’s not to say that I’m not going to. It’s just different. One day I woke up and realized that I want to make art and get paid like a porn star. And so I will. I have very little interest in happy ending for you. I’m not sure there is gonna be any. Maybe. Will see. The rant above was just a prelude to what I’m about to say.
You may not understand or like the concept. If you don’t, then you are the two third and I don’t care about what you think, if you think at all. The thing is, I thoroughly enjoy being myself. I mean, I literally enjoy it, to the point I’ll get off myself to myself any time of day, especially if I’m feeling extra sexy. And so I think you should really understand that, and value the Goddess for being a Goddess and not because your penis twitches as the sight of my feet.
I enjoy projects that involve me. I enjoy having photo shoots that I orchestrate from start to finish, being in front and behind the camera…god bless the technology. I have always had a thing for self portraits. Lipstick-Mirror is a common theme for me. It’s a reflection, it’s beauty, seduction.. many things. I enjoy making erotic hypnosis recordings for creative outlet that it gives me. I am looking forward to making more of them. I have spent last few days mapping them out. Doesn’t mean I”ll record them right away 😉 They are gonna be different. For a good portion of it, hypnosis serves a purpose of something, of something happening, of transformation, to fix something, to bring a change of something. I have very little interest in that. I have a lot of interest in emotions, or say, controlling the emotional state of a subject, invoking a particular feeling at the time: be it a feeling of very deep submission, humiliation, gratitude, fear, paranoia, love and adoration, exhilaration, a thrill,arousal. There is just so much to experience. It may or may not involve sexual themes. It’s just not that important to me.
One of the recordings I’m currently working on is “Adrenaline”. It’s going to be exciting. In two words, it’s a blackmail experience, the full emotional thrill ride of being cornered, hunted, pinned up. Another future recording is “The Dirt”, a remake of one of the first recordings I did. What can I say, you’ll just have to be very excited when you’re horny, basking in your perverseness like a pig in the dirt.
Next… I like making videos, but the kind that I have on youtube and not on clips4sale…well, at least some of them. Since everyone and their grandma jumped on the clip making train, doing the same thing over and over again, makes me wanna go full blown art production or some really hardcore porn to shrug off the mediocrity off the scene. ..figuratively speaking, just making a point. So there, probably less happy endings, more other kind of stimulation. Your mind is too powerful and has too much potential to simply disregard it’s existence for the sake of the cock.